Sweet Dreams
by December Writing Dragon
Summary: They say that when a person dies, they look like they are asleep. It is small comfort to those who remain behind...who try to ease their loved one's discomfort. Alfred must put on a brave face for his husband and their son during one of the hardest parts of his life. RusAme. Warning for character death.


**Rusame. Warning for character death. Reviews appreciated!**

They had known this was coming for months now. But that did not ease the moment when the kiss they exchanged would be their last. As the lethal cells multiplied and spread through Ivan's body, his mobility had plummeted, his ability to live the life he loved so dearly depleted. Despite spending eleven blissful years with Alfred then seven with their beautiful son, it did not seem like enough time.

Alfred has given what he thought might be sufficient talks. "Listen, little buddy, Papa's going through a hard time and might be a bit scared sometimes, so we're going to have to be extra brave, for him, okay?"

Alex nodded, eyes shining fiercely as he promised "I'll be brave enough for all of us!"

"I know you will, kiddo,"

The heart monitor sounded to Alfred like a wretched liar, feeding him false hope he yearned to embrace, but knew all too well how painful it would make the future. The rhythmic beeping reflecting Ivan's last few ties to life pounded through his eardrums so thoroughly he almost did not hear the soft conversation shared between his husband and their son.

"Papa, if I go into space, would I be an astronaut or a cosmonaut?" Alex asked, leaning on the side of the bed and smiling down at Ivan's frail figure, trying so very hard to distract him from his growing discomfort.

It tore Alfred's heart in two, but Ivan managed to return the smile, though Alfred could see the grimace laced with it. "That will depend what country you work for. But they will be so lucky to have you, Sasha."

Alex's smile turned watery as he grasped his father's hand, his tiny fingers barely reaching halfway across. "Will you still be able to see me when you sleep, papa?"

The monitor slowed. The dance was coming to a close. Curtains drifted across the stage as the lights began to dim. Ivan's thumb rubbed gentle circles into Alex's hand. "I'll see every bit of it and be the proudest father there will ever be, Sashenka." A bony arm wrapped itself around Alex, drawing him into a weak but meaningful hug. Alfred let out a choked sob he attempted to turn into a cough. As he drew away, Ivan glanced at Alfred, his dulled violet eyes still holding traces of the beauty Alfred had fallen in love with so long ago.

"Fedya?"

Alfred swallowed. "Yeah, Evie?" he asked shakily. Ivan merely stretched out his other arm in invitation. Alfred nodded in understanding and walked to his side, and they three became a family chained forever by a force that could transcend the darkness dimming Ivan's vision, the stifling cold chilling his bones. For a moment, they were physically inseparable. For a moment, all was well.

Unfortunately, for as strong as Alfred was, his strength could not tether his beloved to this earth any longer. He heard a weak whisper beside his ear, meant for him alone. "Stay with me…"

Alfred's tightened his hold around his husband. "We'll both stay til you fall asleep, big guy."

Alex pecked his father on the cheek. "Love you, Papa. Sleep well."

"Mmm, ya tozhe tebya lyublyu, Sasha, Fedya. I will have beautiful dreams-" his voice broke. "Beautiful dreams of my beautiful family. We will all be there, us, your aunts, uncles, grandpa, all together…somewhere warm…I want to be warm."

A single hot tear leaked from the violet eye on Alfred's side. Numbly, Alfred brushed it away. No sadness should ever mar the face he fell in love with. He didn't deserve that…not ever…

The beeping of the heart monitor was almost nonexistent. It was time.

Taking deep, quavering breaths, Alfred leaned forward and pressed his lips to Ivan's chapped ones. "Love you, Evie. Always and forever. You sleep now. Sleep and be comfortable." Ivan looked into his favorite pair of beautiful blue eyes and nodded, closing his own.

The heart monitor…stopped.

"Is papa sleeping, dad?" Alex asked quietly, the better to make sure he not wake his papa.

Alfred inhaled, exhaled, mustered some inner strength he had not dreamed himself capable of at this point. "Yeah…yeah, Alex, he's asleep now."

"Is he dreaming?"

"He's having wonderful dreams, just like he said."

"Are we there?"

Alfred nodded stiffly, his eyes on fire from unshed tears. "Yeah, we're there. It'll be awhile before we see him, but we'll be sith him in his dreams, and he really needed this sleep, so…"

Alex nodded solemnly. He pressed another kiss to Ivan's cheek, now growing colder. "Night night, papa. Sweet dreams."

Alfred would never remember how he had managed the next week, perhaps he had not, perhaps some other stronger entity had taken over in piloting his body and allowed him to seek shelter in some dark corner of his mind where no pain could ever reach. All he did know, however, that the time to confront one of the underlying issues came much sooner than he would've liked.

"You should've explained it to him properly, Alfred," Arthur said to him over a cup of afternoon tea.

Alfred took a long drink from his cup before replying. "I didn't want it to feel so permanent on him, so hopeless. I-Ivan didn't want that either."

"But it is permanent, Alfred. He died, he won't come back some time, the only time we'll see him again is when it's our turn."

"What!?" Alex came bursting into the room, eyes swimming with tears. "You said he was asleep- you said he was just sleeping, we'd see him again, it's just sleeping!"

A dam broke in Alfred as he grasped Alex by the shoulders, at last reflecting the grief he had kept bundled so tightly in his heart. "That was so wrong of me, Alex- I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"I never would have let him fall asleep! I'd have made sure he stayed awake- he'd still be here if he just didn't…"

Alfred shook his head, wiping the tears from Alex's face. "Don't ever think that, Alex. Ivan was sick. In a way, yes, he absolutely is sleeping- it's just one he can't wake from. But he needed this, he…he needed to be free of his pain. He can't feel anything bad anymore." Words he had known in his heart but only now realized the truth of.

Alex continued to cry into his shoulder. "But he's not with us," he said softly.

Alfred shook his head. "No, but we're with him, in a very special way. He's watching us and he's going to watch you be wonderful at everything you do. We can't see him, but he sees us and loves us, just like we'll always love him. And you were so, so brave to be so, so strong for him, and to let him go…you made it…easier…for him to do what he…what he needed to do."

That night, the two spread out a blanket on the lawn and looked up at the stars. Amidst the sprinkling of celestial lights twinkling above, above new star, more bright at oven vibrant than all the others, shone down upon its loved ones.

"Love you, Evie," Alfred whispered, reaching a hand out as if to touch that glimmering lively light.

THE END


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